Falling Out, Falling Out...

As Tara has duly noted, my grammar has been a bit off lately. Don't worry, I am trying to rectify this situation. I think teaching English in a country where I hear horrible English every day has started to take a toll on my brain...I've even started thinking that things like "My name Tori" actually sound correct...

So because my grammar has been a bit off, I decided to go with the Indonesian technique of just repeating things when you want to make them plural. Take a look at the title of this blog. I wasn't sure if it should be "Fallings Out" or "Falling Outs," and I'm still not entirely sure, although I think it might be the former...

So this will just be a quick update, and I do apologize for not having written in a while. I just had to take some mid-term tests at uni, so it's been kind of crazy these past two weeks...

Robe and I are now fine, as far as our injuries are concerned. Everything except for my knee is all healed up. Robe's foot is even fine, and the burn has gone away (miraculously!).

Tara, what I was talking about with my student telling me his sister died was this. In Indonesia, people don't seem to take death too seriously. Literally, the day after his sister died, he was in my class smiling and having a good time. His sister died suddenly and unexpectedly, might I add, so it should have been even that more shocking and upsetting to him, but he was totally fine. And the other students in the class were joking about it like it was nothing. I was just shocked and rather appalled at this attitude about death, but I guess that's just the culture.

Okay, so about these "falling out, falling out" things. The other day, we had a big dinner with my former host family and some friends. All in all there were 13 of us. We all had a great time during dinner, laughing and enjoying ourselves. At the end of the dinner, my host family paid for the meal as usual. Well, after getting home and getting ready for bed about an hour and a half after dinner, I got a VERY angry text message from my host brother, Octa. He scolded me for not having paid for dinner, telling me that I was impolite and disrespectful. I really didn't understand what he was angry about, considering we had gone out to dinner a million times before that and the family had always paid. Then it turned out he expected me to pay not only for my meal, but for everyone else's meal...and I didn't even know half of those people were coming with us until we got to the restaurant! I tried to explain myself and justify my behavior to him, but it was to no avail. I also texted my host sister, Amellia, and two of my Indonesian friends who were at dinner with us. They all said that it was okay, but that then they said, "But don't do it again!"

Shocked and confused, I continued to sms Octa, but he was having none of my explanation. Then he let out that he and his family didn't really like Robe or Robe's family. I asked why, considering that they had never in their entire lives given a good reason to dislike them. Turns out, my host family doesn't like Robe's family because at one of my engagement parties there was a Muslim prayer for me and Robe. WHAT?! That's seriously the reason why they don't like Robe's family!! So I texted him back, letting him know what I thought of biggots and told him that I did not associate with people like him. He texted back that he was very disappointed in me as a Christian and that the biggest mistake he's ever made in his life is calling me his "sister." And that was the last of our correspondence.

Crazy, right?! I was completely blown away by the whole thing. I guess I now know the true character of my host family. I couldn't believe what I was reading. I didn't even bother explaining to him that at that engagement party the majority of people were Muslim (Robe's neighbors), and they asked us if it would be okay for them to pray for us. Of course it's okay! And of course the only way they know how to pray is the Muslim way. I couldn't have told them, "I'm sorry, could you please pray to Jesus Christ, my Lord and Savior?" Ridiculous. Frankly ridiculous.

And weird, too. I'm not really sure where all of this came from. There is some underlying reason for his explosion that I'm obviously unaware of, but I guess the one good thing that has come of this is that I now know who my host family truly is.

Another falling out came about a week ago with an English teacher here, Bu Francien. She has been such a huge help to me ever since I came to Indonesia, but she blew up at me the other day and I haven't heard from her since. Here's what happened. I was helping her out, teaching a group of 12 adults who are getting ready to pursue their Ph.Ds abroad. Our class had to start very early in the morning, though, because I had to go to my own classes in the late morning. So we had class starting from 7:30 to 9:00am every day. One day she told me she would open the door to my classroom. Well, 7:30 came and went and she wasn't there, so I decided to find my own classroom. At 8:00, she called me yelling at me, asking why I left and why did I make her come down to campus for nothing. I politely reminded her that my class started at 7:30, which means that I start talking at 7:30, not 7:45 and not 7:50. She got totally pissed off and started yelling in Indonesian, so I just hung up the phone. I was in the middle of class, after all!

So anyway. Indonesians are weird people who get angry for weird things, like wanting to start class on time or like not paying for two big families' meals. Very, very strange. I'm kind of glad I'm coming home in a few weeks. I've pretty much had all I can take of this!

Okay here's some news - I will get in to Dayton, Ohio, on Wednesday May 28th at 5:50pm. I'm very excited about this and cannot wait to see all of you!!!!

Alrighty well that's about all. I'm hungry now, so I'm going to go get me some chicken satay...man, I'm going to miss that food!! :)

Yes, I did actually throw a rock at a bus...

It's true - I really did that. But trust me, I was in rare form that day!

So it seems I have been on a roll recently. I go from seriously lucky to having the worst luck in the world, then back again to insanely lucky (in one day!). Here's what I mean: This morning, I got up late, which would have made me late to teach except that all of my students were late! Then, I was supposed to get paid before I started teaching, but the accountant lady was late, so she ended up giving me an extra Rp100,000 (only $10, but that's a lot in Indonesia!). So I was on cloud nine, until later that morning when Robe and I got into a motorcycle accident. That sucked and made us late to the Immigration office here, but when I was there I found out that I didn't have to buy an Exit Permit to leave the country. And this is how my past few days have been!

So more on that motorcycle accident. Robe and I were putting along on his motorbike as we had left a little bit early and were not in a hurry to get to Immigration. *Remember, they drive on the left-hand side here.* Suddenly, this big dump-truck-like thing (carrying huge logs I think) pulled out of a driveway from the right-hand side and started moving really quickly into our lane. Robe moved left to let the truck in, but we quickly ran out of space when we realized the truck driver wasn't paying attention and he totally just pushed us off the road. This would have been okay if there hadn't been a huge hole on the left side, and we drove into it. This also would have been okay if the hole hadn't been filled with tons of mud, which made it impossible for Robe's motorbike to drive through. So the bike just fell over, taking us down with it. Luckily we weren't actually on the road, so the motorbikes behind us didn't have any trouble dodging our bodies... Yea...

I did notice one thing, though. Whenever someone has an accident in the US, people always stop to make sure everyone is alright and doesn't need medical assistance. However, in Indonesia, people just drive around you like they don't even care (and they probably don't actually care...). I was a bit angry at this, actually. It just goes to show that Indonesians don't really care all that much about other people...

So anyway. We are both okay. I've got scrapes & bruises on my left & right arm and on my left leg. We were both obviously wearing helmets, so our heads are fine (just a little headache). Although once my head hit the ground, my helmet flew off. Robe is buying me a better helmet as we speak. Robe only has scrapes on his legs, but he burned the bottom of his foot on the exhaust pipe thing, so that sucks a lot because it hurts to walk. My left knee is pretty nasty, so it's a little sore to walk on, but nothing compared to Robe! Poor thing!

I know what you're all going to say - don't ever ride a motorbike again! Well, we went back to Robe's shop after stopping by Immigration and Robe's family just made fun of Robe. They didn't really seem all that concerned that we had been hurt, but I'm starting to realize that this is just the typical Indonesian attitude towards certain things. Actually just this morning in class, I asked if anyone had any news from the weekend, and one of them said that Mega (a man in my class - I'm teaching adults who are preparing to do a Ph.D program abroad) might have some news. She even laughed when she said it, so I thought it was funny news. I followed suit, asking in a joking manner what had happened. He responded, with a smile on his face, that his sister died suddenly on Friday evening at the age of 35! I was shocked and immediately offered my condolences, but the others in the class seemed rather insensitive. After Mega told his story, one of the other men replied enthusiastically, "Oh yea, I heard about that! What a story!"

So after the accident, I told Robe that I was hesitant to get back on the motorbike again. He understood (and btw he feels really bad about the whole thing, the poor thing is a wreck - pun intended), but after talking to his family to see if I could use the car to get home from school in the evenings, they seemed hesitant. They didn't understand why I was being such a baby about getting back on the motorbike, so I guess I'm stuck with it for the time being. I have 2 options at this point - take the motorbike home or go by taxi. Considering taking a taxi every night would defeat the purpose of me working, I guess I'll stick with the motorbike. Oh, well...

Alrighty. In other exciting news, yesterday (April 13th) was Robe's Dad's (Yohanes) 52nd birthday. We didn't do much the day of, considering Yohanes was sick all morning. People stopped by all afternoon, wishing him a Happy 52nd and all that jazz, and we ate the traditional nasty food they eat for birthdays around here. Too bad for me, I can't eat any of the things that Chinese-Indonesians usually prepare for birthdays - fried noodles (eww), duck eggs (it's like eating the entire salt shaker at once) and pork (I could eat the meat if it wasn't drenched in this awful sweet & salty, teriaki-wannabe sauce).

So that was all we did, but then today all of Yohanes's kids planned this awesome surprise. They all pretended to be running late, and then they didn't open the shop on time. Yohanes got so mad that he actually came down to the shop himself early (he usually doesn't go in until 10am) to see what was going on. When he got there, he found no one outside and the gate to the shop half-opened. He pushed the gate open, and suddenly everyone (his kids & employees) jumped out and yelled "Surprise!" It was hilarious - he apparently went instantly from fuming red to laughing hysterically. It was great because it's nearly impossible to surprise this man. The only thing that sucked was that I couldn't be there. I had to teach. Oh, well...

Okay I guess that's all that's going on around here. I love you all lots and lots and can't wait to see you in about 5 weeks or so!!! Muah!!

~ Tori =)

P.S. To answer your comments, Robe still doesn't have his Visa and at this point we're looking at August/September as the time for him to come to the US. This process typically takes about 3-8 months from the time you start everything to the time you set foot in the country, and it looks like we're going to be on the long end of that timeline because Robe comes from the largest Muslim country in the world (and plus this country might have the record for the worst record keeping in the world, which makes it more difficult to do background checks). We're both pretty upset about the whole thing, considering we started the process with such high hopes. It's just like every day is another reminder of our future separation as we move closer and closer to my departure date. But I'm not worried. I know we can get through it. The US Embassy in Jakarta expects me to be there with Robe when he has his interview (eventually - maybe in July or August), so it's looking like I'll be coming back to Indonesia for a while at least...

Frustrating things about Indonesia...

Hola everyone! So the closer I get to my departure date, the more frustrating things seem to get here.

Actually, that's not entirely sure. I feel like these days I'm having so much more fun with my friends. We're doing so much more these days now that we are all used to our school schedules and work loads. But the second I'm by myself or with Indonesians (i.e. not with my friends - they're almost all foreign!), everything just frustrates me to no end!

Let's look at an example, shall we? So at MaChung (the new Chinese/International university that opened up in Malang this year) there are about 50 founders. Basically, these old, nasty, rich Chinese-Indonesian men got together and decided that they wanted to make a really modern, exclusive university for their own kind (i.e. Chinese Indonesians) to study. Great. So the main founder guy, Mr. Naga, is really nice. He's a bit intimidating, but he's a very nice gentleman once you get to know him. His wife, Mrs. Naga, is a different story altogether! She is one of the snobbiest, nastiest women I have met here. I guess it comes with the territory of being super wealthy. Anyway.

I first noticed her ridiculousness the first day I met her, which was back in October. She decided that she wanted to attend my English class at MaChung. So, after the MaChung driver picks me up, we swing by her house to pick her up. Now I say "swing by" but it usually turns into a 15-minute or so stop, because she's never ready on time and she demands that we wait for her, whether or not waiting will make me (the teacher) late to the class! She won't even walk out to the car. She demands that the car pull into her gate, which means that her poor housekeeper has to walk all the way out to the gate, open it up, close it up after the car pulls in, then repeat that stupid routine 15 minutes later. If it's raining, her housekeeper is not allowed to run out with an umbrella when she opens the gate. Instead, Mrs. Naga (which, coincidentally means "Dragon" in Indonesian. I like to call her the Dragon lady...) makes the car pull in as close as possible to the house. Then she makes her housekeeper hold the umbrella for her while she walks the 2 feet to the car door. Her housekeeper then opens the door for her and lets her in the car, then gives Mrs. Naga the umbrella (which she keeps with her, even though she refuses to hold it for herself), runs out to the gate, opens it, closes it up after the car leaves and bolts back into the house - no doubt by this time drenched from head to toe from these ridiculous shenanigans. Shenanigans, I tell you!

Then the other day she was in my class, which ends at 6:00 pm. She waited until 5:50pm, realized she needed to go home right away for some random reason and just left, completely forgetting about me. She had the MaChung driver drive her home immediately, so because she couldn't wait 10 minutes for me, I had to wait around after the campus was actually closed for the driver to return. Exhausted and cold, I finally arrived home at around 8:00pm. Ridiculous!

Oh this woman is terrible! She talks down to everyone and I dread the 20 minutes we have to spend in the car together six times a week (to-and-from campus twice a day, 3 days a week...).

So anyway. Many women here are like that, and it absolutely drives me crazy how they abuse people who work for them. Mrs. Naga's poor housekeeper is a 15-year-old girl who only graduated from elementary school and has been working/living at that house for several years now...oh my. Poor thing.

So what else has me frustrated? Oh, so many things to choose from. Adults in Indonesia often act like children. I swear. At MaChung, I teach teachers/staff members of the university and also the students in the English Department, and I have to say that the students are so much better behaved than the teachers! The other day, one of the teachers made a presentation in the class on Prostitution. As soon as he started talking & giving statistics, three male teachers in the back (ages 28-35) started GIGGLING and making horrible noises & jokes. I was so astounded, I actually stopped class and had to kick them out. How embarrassing is it for a 36-year-old to get kicked out of class for misbehaving?! Seriously, so many Indonesians are immature like that, it just drives me crazy.

Of course then there are always the middle-aged men yelling obscenities at young women (white, Chinese, Javanese) walking by. If I am walking along and I see a group of men sitting by the sidewalk, I will cross the street and avoid walking in front of them. Sometimes it's unavoidable, though, and then I just have to grit my teeth and bear it. Sometimes they call innocent things out at you, like "Hey misterrrr!" (they don't know the difference between mister and miss...), but then other times it's more serious things like "Hey, bule! F*** you!" I hate it so much...

Also, the public transportation drivers here make money based on how many passengers they can pick up, so it's a real race to grab the passengers. Because of this, they honk incessantly while calling out at anyone walking/standing on the sidewalk/street. I generally choose to ignore this, but when I'm standing waiting to be picked up or something, it gets really old to have these stupid mini-buses drive by you at a snail's pace, honking crazily as they pass, then once they reach you have the driver stick his stupid-looking head out the window and call out something. One time I didn't look up from my book at a particularly insistent driver, and I could hear him call me a "white monkey" and some other choice words. What did I do? I looked around quickly, and noticing that no one was around, I picked up a rock and chucked it at his bus. By the time the rock hit the window, I was already back to reading my book as if nothing had happened. It was really funny to watch how angry he got out of the corner of my eye. I couldn't help but feel a little satisfied.

Another time (and this was a while ago), while walking in front of some nasty, greasy men on the sidewalk, they let me know what they thought of me (and let's just say that it was quite clear they did not want me there). What did I do? I stopped dead, turned to them and walked a few steps towards them. As soon as I did that, I could see the expressions on their faces turn from laughing to terrified instantly. They had no idea what I was going to do. It was hilarious. Then, shocking them that I could understand their language, I told them politely that it was not polite to yell at people, especially foreigners. I proceeded to politely tell them that tourism was the reason they had clothes on their backs and they better just leave me alone. They seemed to agree with me, apologized, and then I continued walking. It was such a great feeling! I had finally defended myself, and I was very proud of myself...too bad I don't have that kind of courage every time I get yelled at. Oh, well...

So anyway. I guess I should get going now. Oh, before I do, I better answer your comments. Thank you all so much for them! I love reading from my loved ones :) The couple that was going to help us ended up being very little help. The Indonesian guy actually immigrated through a process that would be considered Visa Fraud these days, so I definitely won't be going that route. And that story about my Polish friend just kind of faded away after a few weeks, thank God! He moved back to Malang and he's still studying here. He decided to change his look, though, so he grew out a mustache & goatee and changed his hairstyle, just in case!

Love you all! Muah!!

Sorry!

Hey everyone! Sorry it's been so long since I last wrote...it's been quite an uneventful few weeks here, to tell you the truth.

Oh wow, Tara. Thank you for that comment. The part about you forgetting what mom & dad looked like when we went to Kentucky that one time made me laugh, which I needed... I'll be sure to tell Robe that you can understand his English. He'll be so glad to hear that. He's gotten so self-conscious about it that now in the evenings I am teaching him. Actually I'm not so excited about doing it because it means I don't get to hang out with my fiance at night, I get to hang out with a student. Oh, well...

And I'm sorry that so many people had trouble posting comments! Sometimes this website can be kind of finicky...

Anyway. I guess nothing too exciting is happening around here. I'm sitting here in Matos, and across the mall is a cute bule family (family of white people). Judging by their accent, I'm going to say they're Australian. I saw them earlier at the food court, trying to order food. It was hilarious. They don't speak any Indonesian and the people at the restaurant were trying SO hard to help them, but it was just ridiculous to an innocent bystander. I offered to help them order after about 5 minutes, more because I was hungry and I wanted my turn than I wanted to be helpful. They were very thankful. Anyway, it really is incredibly strange to see such a large group of white people walking around. I can't help but stare, and I know that seems ridiculous, but it just fascinates me. Op, there goes another white girl walking by the internet cafe. I saw a few white people at the grocery store the other day, and yesterday there was a group of British people teaching at my university. Ahh!! It's the invasion of the foreigners!!!

Sorry about that. Oh my gosh there really are like 10 people in that family over there. I've never seen so many white people here at once...sorry! I promise I'll stop now. Clearly it's time for me to come home.

Okay. So what else is going on...oh, Robe's birthday is tomorrow, so this past weekend some of our friends got together and celebrated together. It's actually really sad because I think his family forgot about his birthday. And two of his best friends canceled on him the morning of our big celebration. So that just left me, Robe, and my former housemates. We had such a good time, though, so it was their loss. We went to this rec center near my old house and went bowling, swimming & played pool all day. Then we went to dinner at the only restaurant in Malang that serves real steak. We westerners were thankful :)

In other recent events, I have taken on a lot of work again. Now I get to wake up at 5:00 in the morning and two nights a week I don't come home until 9:30 at night...the other nights I get to come home at 7:00pm. It's okay, though, because my weekends are completely free now, which is great!

I guess nothing else is really happening around here. My friends & I are trying to plan a weekend trip to Bali before I leave, so that's exciting! They found this really great hotel in Kuta (the tourist center of Bali) with little beach-front bungalows (for the equivalent of $10 a night!!!). I'm really looking forward to that. It will be like my little mini-Spring Break :)

Okay well I will leave you alone now. I've got lots of papers to correct & grade before I go to teach this evening. I love you all and miss you! See you soon!

Oh my goodness...

Greetings from the developing world! I have had a very stressful/eventful last week or so, so please do forgive me for not having updated in a more timely fashion.

I suppose I shall go in chronological order of last week’s festivities…

As you may or may not know, Robe & I decided to try to get him a Tourist Visa, as we have been waiting to hear about his Fiancé Visa for over 2 months now and it’s not looking like we’ll be getting word anytime soon. First of all, I did my research to make sure that he was allowed to apply for another Visa while waiting to hear about the Fiancé Visa. Turns out, many people have done this because the F Visa process takes so long. Great! So we then prepared his application (which was very time consuming and quite stressful because record keeping here is like it was in America in, oh, the year 1807). Each applicant must then make an interview appointment at the U.S. Embassy in Jakarta, or the U.S. Consulate General in Surabaya. At the conclusion of this interview, the Consulate Officer will either grant you the Visa or deny you the Visa. Okay. Fine. So we made our appointment in Surabaya for Monday, March 10^th, at 7:30am (yuk!).

So knowing we had to travel to Surabaya (about 2 hours from Malang) and knowing that his appointment was at such an ungodly hour, we decided we would go up the night before and stay the night. Robe’s mom thought it was a good idea for us to stay with her sister and her sister’s family, who happen to live in Sby, so that we could save money. The Tourist Visa was already going to cost Robe’s entire monthly salary (about $130). When we arrived at Robe’s Aunt’s house, we found out that she is possibly the worst host in the world. We arrived at 4:00pm, and by the time we went to bed at 10, she hadn’t even offered to feed us dinner or even given us an idea of how to obtain food in the area. She made us sleep on a mattress on the floor in the same room as Robe’s Grandmother (who stays permanently with them), when there was a perfectly good guest room that was not being used. She offered us the mattress, but she neglected to offer pillows. In the morning, it was her servants (not her) that offered us breakfast (which, of course, I could not eat because it was too spicy, so I went hungry until we got back to Malang later that day).

Anyway, that was not the worst part of the night. As I said before, we slept in the same room as Robe’s Grandma. Well, the woman apparently only sleeps a few hours every night, which we did not know. So we tried to go to bed at 10. We had just laid down when she came in the room and started talking on the phone…very loudly. Fantastic. In Indonesian culture, you’re not allowed to ask anything of your elders, so we couldn’t exactly ask her to take her conversation outside so her grandson could get some rest before his very important interview. Heavens no. About 30 minutes later, she finally hung up. Did she go to bed? No. She fiddled around for a few minutes (not quietly or gracefully either. The woman carries around 300 pounds on her 5-foot frame, so she kind of fumbles very loudly everywhere.) After fiddling around, she took something out of a drawer. I didn’t know what it was, but the next minute I heard the very distinctive “Bing!” of a video game and then the very familiar Mario Bros theme song played. For the next 4 ½ hours, this song haunted me & Robe. The woman actually sat there on her bed, playing Mario Bros for almost 5 hours! I guess her arthritis flared up a few times, because every once in a while she would shuffle out to the kitchen to grab some food, bring it back to the room and smack her lips for about 10 minutes. Every time she turned her video game back on, I wanted to cry. She even kept the bedroom light on, so even if I closed my eyes, it still wasn’t dark enough to fall asleep. I begged Robe to say something to her, but he refused, saying it wasn’t his place.

Just so you get the full effect, imagine what was going on. A 74-year-old woman sitting in her little old lady nightgown (that she wears 24/7, I might add) on the edge of her bed at 3:00 in the morning, leaning intently over a tiny little pink Gameboy. That’s what I had to deal with until 4:30am, when she finally decided to turn off the light and try this new-fangled thing called sleep. Unfortunately for us, 4:30 was exactly the time my alarm was going to go off to wake us up and get Robe ready for his interview.

Oh, it was awful. We were so exhausted, and I felt so bad for Robe because he had a long morning ahead of him. We arrived to the Consulate at about 6:30am, but I knew I couldn’t go in with him (only applicants are allowed inside the building), so I just dropped him off and went back to his Aunt’s house. He also wasn’t allowed to bring a cell phone in, so I just had to wait (impatiently and anxiously) at the house until his taxi pulled up. I left him at 6:30am and he didn’t make it back to the house until noon. It was agonizing having to wait with no word…

Well, poor Robe. He had an awful morning. When he got inside the building, he went through security (several times, apparently) and waited until about 8am, when they gave him #20. There were 40 people there, so he was right in the middle. So he sat in a room until 11:20am (sweating profusely despite the AC. When he’s nervous, he sweats like crazy.), at which time they called his number. He went up to the window for his interview (after paying the 1.25 million Rupiah…) and gave the Consulate Officer all of his application materials. She took them, asked him one question and told him he couldn’t apply for another Visa if still waiting to hear about the Fiancé Visa.

So almost 5 hours of waiting for a 2-minute rejection. On not even one minute of sleep. Poor thing. I felt so bad for him, and I kind of felt like it was my fault because I told him it was okay to apply. I don’t understand why, but lots of other people can go on Tourist Visas while waiting for news. I guess Indonesians can’t…but I’m really upset because it was such a waste of time and money for us to go through all of that. I wish they would just put that information somewhere. And why can people from places like Spain and France go on Tourist Visas and Indonesians can’t? I’ll never understand. Part of me thinks that Consulate officer was wrong and we should protest, but you’re not allowed to protest or even ask for further clarification.

What hurt Robe more than anything was that the Consulate officer was really mean and stupid. She told him that she couldn’t understand his English and called for a translator. When he came back to the house he was so distraught about his English, and now he’s nervous to talk to anyone else besides me in English. He thinks that because I’m used to teaching English to foreigners, I can understand what he means but no one else can. I keep trying to reassure him that’s not true, but he’s really self-conscious about his English now…poor thing!

So anyway. I’m pretty much out of options at this point, and I don’t really see how it’s possible for Robe to come home with me… Robe’s dad has a customer at the shop who is married to a Swiss woman, and this guy’s brother is married to an American woman (very international family, it seems!). So Robe called this guy’s brother to get some advice. Here’s what they did. They also applied for the Fiancé Visa, but when it became clear that it was going to take way too long (according to them, European applications are processed quickly but it usually takes about a year for Indonesian applications), they cancelled the FV. They got “married” here (meaning they went to City Hall & had the certificate made), then got him a Tourist Visa, came to the U.S., had the marriage certificate translated & certified at the Indonesian Embassy in DC, then went to “US Immigration” (wherever that is, I’m guessing he meant the Dep’t of Homeland Security or something like that) and applied for a Green Card for him. And that was the end of that story. They got married in 2004 and he’s now an American citizen. Anyway, this guy and his American wife are visiting Malang at the end of March, so we are going to meet with them and see if they can help us at all. This guy has connections at the U.S. Consulate General in Bali, so he said he’d poke around a little bit for us.

Sorry if I’m boring you with all of this Visa talk, but trust me. This is what has been consuming my life for more than two months… And for what? I feel like I’m failing at every chance to get Robe into the U.S. I just wish it weren’t so difficult! If I have to wait a year to get him home, I don’t know what I’ll do…

Okay anyway. Moving on to a completely different topic. We came back to Malang, and the next morning (Tuesday), I was getting ready for school and Robe was bored waiting for me, so he turned on the TV. He started watching celebrity news (the equivalent of the E! Channel). I was minding my own business, drying my hair and all of a sudden I heard Robe yell my name. I jumped, screamed, and ran into the TV room, thinking Robe had hurt himself or something. No, no, nothing like that. He couldn’t even use his words he was so shocked, he just pointed to the TV. I started watching. All I could see was a very famous Indonesian celebrity (a very recognizable face here, maybe the Indo equivalent of Ben Affleck or Keanu Reaves). He was talking to some microphones that had been shoved in his face, saying things like “I’m sorry, that’s my personal life, so I will not comment on that.” I had no idea what he was talking about, but then the screen switched to some photographs of the actor and another young man (a foreigner), posing shirtless and standing very close together in a rather compromising position (Indonesian TV has no boundaries – they show everything including real dead bodies on the news). I gasped and my mouth dropped open. I knew that guy! There he was, Matt, one of my former Polish housemates, plastered all over Indonesian TV barely dressed. Oh my God…

I guess you can imagine what they were asking the celebrity. Are you gay? Is this guy your lover? Things like that. I immediately sent a message to Matt, just in case he didn’t know. I wanted to warn him to stay away from his school. He goes to a private, very conservative Muslim university here in Malang, so they would absolutely stone him if they thought he was gay. (Another Darmasiswa student, my friend Julia, was born in Indonesia but adopted by a German couple when she was a baby. So she looks Javanese, but the only culture she’s ever really known is German. She goes to the same private Muslim university as Matt. At the beginning, local students there thought she was also a local student and they would throw things at her and scream bad things at her because she didn’t cover her head. Yea…thank God my university isn’t like that!) Anyway, so I was just trying to look out for him. I didn’t care what was really going on, I was just concerned about my friend. He replied that he already knew about it, that he was in Jakarta trying to deal with it. He told me that one of the actor’s sisters is married to Matt’s uncle, so actually the actor was kind of like his uncle. Apparently someone is trying to ruin this actor guy, so they broke into his computer and stole all of these pictures and made fake photos and sent them to the media. Oh my goodness…the celebrity circle here is so dark…

So anyway, I have been seeing photos of my friend all over the TV for the past week. Matt’s still in Jakarta. He’s not sure if he’s even going to come back to Malang, and he’s even thinking about going home. I feel so bad for him…I hope everything works out.

Okay well I will leave you all alone now. I’ve taken enough of your time as is. I love you all and I will see you in a few months!

Not much around these parts...

Surprised to see me update so soon this time? Even I myself am a little bit surprised :)

Robyn, I have to tell you that your comment made me laugh out loud in the middle of this Internet cafe. What was it exactly that I asked you that time? Was it "How do I turn the washing machine on?" And I don't think we were kids - I'm pretty sure it was when my fam was living on Cantrell...oh my. And yes, you saw me wearing 2 dresses in those pictures (the blue one and the black one). You want to know the sad thing? I had to go to a seamstress and have those two dresses specially made for me because I'm too big to shop in Indonesia...oy! As for your question about Robe. It's looking more and more like he won't be able to come with me in May. He may not be able to get his Visa until the end of the summer at this rate. The estimated timeline is between 2 and 12 months (great estimate, huh?). At this point I'm kind of thinking ours will be on the lengthy end of that. Actually I was in a forum for people applying for Fiance Visas and there was one couple (the girl was from Spain and the guy from the States) who got the girl's Visa in ONE MONTH! I told them congratulations, but secretly I hate them.

Tara - yea, I think Robe is going to be really weirded out by a lot of things, but I think he's ready for something a little more modern. Of course, I'm not entirely sure about that because when we went to Jakarta (the capital & biggest city in Indonesia - Indonesian equivalent of like NYC), he kept looking at everything like it was the 8th wonder of the world. It really was like "farm boy goes to the big city." Quite funny. He's going to be surprised by everything in the US - from the fact that we don't let our food sit out on the kitchen table all day to our weekend being two days instead of one. As for your car, I'm sorry I called it trashy. It's just that purple reminds me of like a white trash kind of car. But I'm sure if you like it, it must be the furthest thing from white trash. Just promise me you're not going to grow a mullet to drive it ;-) just kidding! I can't wait to see your hot new little race car :)

As for me, not really much to report from this side of the world. I've been battling some weird illness recently. I think I've just gotten so tired from all my sudden activities (after a month of complete freedom and relaxation), and the fact that this weather has been doing some crazy things. This is the worst weather - freezing (okay not really freezing, this is a tropical country after all) cold in the morning, burning hot in the early afternoon, ferocious rains in the late afternoon (but while it's still hot!) and then it's freezing cold in the evening/night with CRAZY winds. And the humidity jumps from 20% to 99% throughout the day, too. And that has been every day for the past two weeks, pretty much...

So this crazy illness is what the Indonesians call "masuk angin." Literally, it means "entrance of the wind" or "the wind enters" or something like that. Indonesians really truly believe that wind can get into your body through your belly button. And when the weather is really bad, or you're really tired, apparently you get this. They've even got special medicine for this. It's called "jamu" and it's traditional. I can tell you from firsthand experience that jamu tastes like minty poop. Don't ask me how I came to that conclusion. Probably the same way I came to call the icing on store-bought cakes "lipstick" icing. Anyway, up to now, I have not actually believed in this illness. I mean, how the heck can wind get into your body? Then about a week ago, I couldn't sleep because I felt really weird. Nothing actually hurt, though. My body felt tired, I was a little bit dizzy, and my stomach felt all rumbly and bumbly (in the same place where you get heartburn, so you can imagine how weird that felt). All at the same time I felt like I was going to faint, throw up or go number 2. This is probably too much information for you, but this is just such a strange story I had to tell it.

Anyway, so I felt so incredibly weird and uncomfortable that I couldn't sleep. I went out to the kitchen at about 10pm and Robe's sister was still awake, so we sat at the table and chatted for a while. She kept trying to tell me that I had "masuk angin" and I kept telling her that I didn't believe in that. (Imagine how strange it was for Vivi to hear this -- it would be like telling an American that you didn't believe in the common cold) Then Robe's other sister Lia came home with her fiancé Budi. Budi went to college in Canada, so he was trying to explain to Lia & Vivi why Americans wouldn't believe in masuk angin.

He convinced me to try to take some medicine to prevent it, but of course I was too stubborn to take the liquid medicine you're supposed to take. It smelled too much like wet dog and I was not about to ingest that. He said it also came in tablet form, but they didn't have any at their house. So Robe's sister Adi volunteered to run out (it was almost midnight at this point) and try to find a pharmacy. More than an hour later he came back, victorious. I had been suffering from these symptoms practically all day (taking Pepto Bismol to try and feel better), and after I took those tablets (which tasted like minty poop) I felt completely better in about 7 minutes. Unbelievable.

Anyway. All this to say that I now believe in masuk angin. I still don't think wind can actually get into your body, but I believe that this illness does exist in Indonesia. It's so weird, though. I've never heard of anything like this in the States. Maybe you guys could help me think of an equivalent. I think it has something to do with the weird weather here, though.

So next time someone tells you that you've got wind in your body, don't be so quick to reject the idea! :)

Valentine's Day gone wrong...

Hey everyone! So yes, I do realize that V-Day was like more than a week ago, but I still have to tell you about how frustrating my day was...

Actually Robe proved to be quite the romantic. I told him I would make him dinner, and so while I was preparing our meal he decorated part of his house for us. It was so cute and romantic – he put up black fabric to make it seem more private and set up a little table with candles and everything. It was all very cute. He tried to find flowers for me, but unfortunately florists don’t exist here. So he searched all over Malang to find me these really ugly plastic flowers. But of course I love them. It was so sweet!

So for dinner I planned on making chicken tetrazzini, one of my favorite dinners. Let’s just say that turned into quite an ideal because Indonesians just don’t have anything good to cook with…

First of all, the knives in their house are quite dull, so I had to practically pull the chicken apart with my hands. They don’t have small pots, so I had to use this really huge could-serve-an-army kind of pot that I was barely tall enough to see inside of. No skillets here either, so I had a choice between incredibly tiny or obnoxiously huge woks that are too heavy to pick up. I won’t even mention that they do measurements by weight (grams), not volume (cups) like we do. You can imagine me trying to measure things like “1 cup of milk” and “1 ½ teaspoons of black pepper.” If you know me at all you know how (not) often I cook, so I couldn’t really “eye” 1 ½ teaspoons of black pepper. I’m pretty sure I put in like 2 tablespoons, because the sauce was very “lada hitam” (black pepper) heavy.

Before I forget, they use these little gas stoves circa 1800 that poop out on you in the middle of cooking your chicken without you noticing. Thus, it took me about 2 hours to cook the chicken. Okay so let’s also not forget that nothing is in one place here (i.e. the kitchen). There is no water supply in the "kitchen," so I had to keep going back and forth between the bathroom and kitchen just for water. And they don’t keep any dishes or silverware in the kitchen, because that would make way too much sense. They keep them behind the pantry, where they have a very strange dish washing station which is very wet (all over, even on the floor!) and very disgusting. So if I was in the middle of cooking, oh I don’t know, sauce, for example. And I needed another fork, just for example. Forget it. I would have to stop everything I was doing, turn off the stove, and run to the washing station, grab a fork and run back to the kitchen, starting everything all over again.

That leads me to the sticking point. So after laboring intensively and uncomfortably (most Indonesian women are quite short, so their countertops are strangely low. I had to bend over awkwardly for about three hours while cooking), I asked Robe to get the oven out for me. He had told me before that they had an oven, but they put it away when they weren’t using it (so I’m thinking, a portable oven?). I was not prepared for what he did next. First he went outside, grabbed 2 bricks (and I do mean bricks, the kind you build houses with), and handed them to me. Yea, like I knew what I was supposed to do with those... He took them back, placed them on either side of the gas stove, then disappeared again. About a minute later he came back, awkwardly carrying this metal toolbox with holes in the side. Turns out, that metal toolbox was the oven. Oh my God. I swear you have never seen anything like this. He put the toolbox oven on top of the bricks, turned the gas stove on, and turned to look at me with this huge smile on his face. I just kind of stared blankly at him, all the while thinking “What the heck am I supposed to do with that?”

Anyway. After “preheating” the oven (did I mention there were no knobs or buttons or anything on this oven? You have no option about the temperature and you just kind of have to guess when the oven is hot enough), I pried open the oven door, literally using all the strength I had (with oven mitts on, of course, because the entire metal contraption was piping hot). I threw in the chicken tetrazzini and waited – for about an hour. Even after an hour, the dish was just hot, not even all good and melty, the way Mom makes it. Oh, well…

Did I mention that I didn’t start cooking until after 6pm? The housekeeper had told me she would finish cooking around 4pm so that I could use the kitchen. Yea, that didn’t happen… So poor Robe, who had worked hard all day, didn’t even get to eat dinner until after 9pm. I felt so awful. My “experiment” as I like to call it these days, didn’t even turn out all that great. I also made a salad, but that turned out to be a disaster because I bought way too many veggies (thinking Robe’s family could enjoy it, too). Clearly I was wrong and practically the entire salad went to waste because Indonesians don’t know how to eat anything that’s not fried. I told them they could eat vegetables raw, and they looked at me like I had three heads.

Oh, well. It doesn’t matter because after all the stress of cooking in Indonesia (which, by the way, I’m never doing ever again), Robe and I did actually get to enjoy our meal (which was not too terrible…).

That’s all I have for you today, ladies and gentlemen. I’m sorry, Tara, for not updating sooner! It’s been a little hectic around here lately… But thank you for all of the updates!! How is the new car? I can’t wait to see it!!! But purple…sounds a little trashy and weird to me…but if you like it then it’s definitely fine J

And it's been a long time....

I do SOOO apologize for not having written in forever. However, in my defense I will say that I have had an absolutely insane last few weeks.

Thank you so much for all of the comments!! Robe says hello and thank you for all the congratulations. We are so excited to get back to the States. I miss it so much and Robe is really looking forward to this next chapter of his life (Aunt Heather's words, not his! ;-).

I wanted to say thank you to Dad & Tammy for the candy, Grandma Marsha & Grandpa Vic for the card and wishes, Aunt Becki for the awesome photo album (which made me really regret not being able to spend Christmas with you all...) and Aunt Heather for the engagement gift. Thank you guys so much! I feel like I was connected to you for just a little bit!

As most of you already know, my Mom and Grandma visited me here in Malang a little over 2 weeks ago. We all had an absolute blast! Robe and I flew to Jakarta to pick them up as they arrived in the country. The two of us had some fun touring the city for a couple of days before Mom & Grandma got here. That was pretty cool - one of Robe's dad's "employees" works up in Jakarta, and we met up with him. He gave us the royal treatment - finding us a really nice hotel and taking us around the city. We had such a great time!

So I was so shocked to see people I actually know get off the plane in Jakarta (Mom & Nay Nay, I mean). It was kind of weird to have members of my family actually in Indonesia, but I got over that pretty quickly. We picked them up around 9pm at the airport and we ended up staying up really late (like 2am) that night, just catching up and everything. Actually Robe's parents were on a trip in Cambodia and surprise! They came home two days early and met us at the hotel in Jakarta. The next day we flew to Malang and our little adventure was underway!

We did so much in a short 3 days -- we visited a neighboring city (called "Batu," which means 'stone' in Indonesian) where there is an absolutely beautiful waterfall called "Coban Rondo." We traveled around Malang a bit -- saw my university, Matos (the infamous local mall that I spend way too much time at), ate LOTS of (what I thought was) good food. I think Mom liked the food, but I'm not so sure about Grandma. They also got to meet a lot of people - all of Robe's family (and they were quite smitten with Robe's sister's fiancé Budi), my host family and some of my friends. We also had a rather amusing night at karaoke. Grandma, I have quite a hilarious video of you and Jonathan singing an Indonesian children's song. And Mom, I've got a video of me and you singing "Goodbye Yellow Brick Road" which should never be shown without our supervision...

We all (Mom, Grandma, me and Lily) stayed at Robe's house for their visit, which was nice because we didn't have to worry about going back and forth to the hotel. The only thing that was maybe not so great was that meant that there was a lot of translating going on. I mean, I fully expected it but for some reason it stressed me out a lot. Whenever Robe's parents wanted to say something to Mom or Grandma, they would incessantly call my name regardless of whether or not I was already engaged in some other conversation. All in all, though, Mom & Grandma had a great time I think. Robe's parents are excellent hosts and everything was pretty much taken care of (and paid for) by Robe's dad. I'm pretty certain that Grandma wanted to take Jonathan (Robe's 14-yr-old brother) home with her.

Come to think of it, both Mom & Grandma were quite a hit. Everyone kept talking about how awesome my Grandma was (she taught Robe's sister how to knit and now Lia is absolutely unstoppable! she played silly card games with us and sang her heart out at karaoke). Then everyone kept saying how they thought Mom was actually my older sister and how pretty she was. I heard the phrase "hot mom" on more than two occasions...

It was really sad when they flew out, but it didn't make me more homesick (thank goodness!). I'm really ready to come home, but I've only got a little bit longer here, and I'm not that impatient.

So after that, Lily and I had some time before classes started up again at school. And actually today was my first day of real class. Yesterday Lily and I found out that they were allowing us to go into the regular classes with local students, which was exciting and yet terrifying at the same time. We were each allowed to choose our own classes, so I chose: Drama Appreciation, Phonology of Bahasa Indonesia, Semantics of Bahasa Indonesia, Sociology of Letters (not letters A, B, C, but Letters as in study of language), and Advanced Reading. So far I've been to one class of Phonology and one class of Semantics, and it's okay. Phonology wasn't so difficult and for Semantics I have a really funny professor who likes to show off his English skills (or lack thereof). The only thing is that each class is 1 hour 40 minutes, and at AU each class was only 1 hour 15 minutes, so I've got to get used to long class times. It's alright, though. I'm looking forward to really improving my spoken Indonesian. I was a scheduling genius, though, and now I only have to come to campus 3 days a week!!

In other news, I did decide to move in with Robe and actually I moved everything out of my old house this past weekend. It's okay living there, I guess. I mean, these days I stay out of the house A LOT on Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday. I leave around 7am and don't come home until 6 or 7pm. The real test will be the end of this week, because I'll be stuck in the house all day with Robe's mom and their housekeeper. Their house is actually outside of the city of Malang, so it's too far to take public transportation. I'd have to switch mini-buses like 3 times just to get to the mall...Meh, I won't have much free time anyway because I'll be doing a lot of homework it seems!

Okay that's about it. Now I'm sitting here at the painfully slow internet cafe (but at least now I have my own laptop so I can use the wireless, which is a tiny bit faster...) waiting for Robe to pick me up and take me home. So I guess I will talk to you all later!! Miss you all and love you :) :) :)

Phew...it's been a while!

Hello friends and family (and apparently other faithful readers...)!

Another message coming to you from the other side of the globe. Sorry it's been so long... My roommate (Lily) and I have recently taken to buying pirated DVDs and watching countless episodes of great American TV shows on her laptop. Shall we just say that it has absolutely taken over our days so much that we find ourselves too lazy to walk across the street to the Internet cafe. Tara and Amy - it reminds me of those days lounging on Mom's couch watching episode after episode of Grey's and Desperate Housewives and all those nights glued to our Prison break DVDs! So far this vacay, Lily and I have finished Season 1 of Brothers and Sisters, reviewed Season 1 of Desperate Housewives, we went through Season 1 of Gossip Girl in 1 day, and now we are working on Season 2 of Sex & the City. It's absolutely amazing, and by far my favorite way to spend my vacation...Luckily for us, each pirated DVD costs the equivalent of about 70 cents (in USD). I love developing countries!!

So anyway. What has been going on in my life other than wasting my days laying on my mattress (I can't really call it a bed...there's no frame!)? Well, since getting engaged, Robe's parents planned the most incredible engagement parties (not party) for us. We had one for his family, which consisted of me getting dressed up (dress, hair, makeup...they all said I looked like Barbie) and participating in some very strange Chinese-Indonesian customs (such as handing his aunts and uncles a shot-glass full of wine one-by-one and then shaking my closed fists up and down like I wanted to knock them out). Apparently getting engaged to Indonesians is just as important as actually getting married, and his family gave us quite a bit of money. All in all, we got about $800 (US). That's over 8 million rupiah (their currency). Sound like a lot? That's because it is...

The next day we had a big party for all of our friends & the people in the neighborhood. That was exciting - I shook hands with about 100 people I didn't know, but whatever, it was still cool. Robe's parents had both parties catered and there was music and fun and it was just great. His family really is amazing. Bu Dewi's (my former host mom) employees at her factory saw the pictures from this party and they told me that Robe looks like a Chinese movie star. That made me smile :) I'll post pictures next time, I promise! I just forgot to bring my camera to the cafe :(

What else? His parents asked me to move in with their family. They were telling me how they wanted to spend more time with the two of us before we leave, and it's hard with their son leaving every evening to come hang out with me. I definitely understand where they're coming from, but it would complicate my already complicated life here considerably. We'll see how this pans out, but I might be moving yet again very soon...

My Mom and Grandma are coming in less than 2 weeks now, and I am getting so very excited!! Robe and I are thinking about traveling a little bit before we go pick them up in Jakarta. We might be heading to Yogjakarta, which is the cultural center of Java (located in Central Java...about 8 hours drive from Malang). I've always wanted to go there, so that would be so exciting!!!

I think for now that's about it. I will keep you all updated on the exciting details of my life. Miss you all and see you soon!

Well Bali was a bust, but surprise!!

Oh wow! Thank you guys so much for all the messages!! I want to give a special congratumalations to Aunt Becki for being a college graduate!! I am so excited for you :)

And thank you Tara, my lovely sister, for keeping me updated on everyone. What would I do without you?!

Oh my goodness, Kyle! Mr. Tumnus! Just so you know, the image of JT doing his sexy "Mr. Tumnus" flashed through my head and I started cracking up in the middle of this internet cafe. Everyone is staring at the crazy white girl now...good times...

And Grandma, you're not going to starve over here, I promise! If all else fails, we will hit up Pizza Hut, McDonald's and KFC (yes, they have all of those here...and they've even got a "Papa Ron's Pizza" which I find quite amusing). Sadly for Tori, Starbucks has not yet made it to Malang. There are several in Jakarta, a few in Surabaya, but none in Malang.

Anyway. So here's a recap of my WONDERFUL holiday in Bali - it rained, rained some more, rained again, kept on raining, continued to rain, monsooned, monsooned some more, monsooned again...I think you get the point. It was absolutely awful. Everything that was on the plan got canceled and we just ended up shopping, eating, and sitting on the bus for 4 days straight. The few times it wasn't raining we managed to snap some good pictures, and maybe I will post them here next time. The one redeeming moment was "Pulau Penyu" which means "Tortoise Island." There we got to play with giant tortoises that were over 100 years old, we held snakes and bats and eagles and had all kinds of fun. Unfortunately it only lasted 2 hours, but whatever...

I guess the one good thing is that the entire tour (food, hotel, transportation, admission to places, etc.) only cost $75 when you convert it into US dollars, so I guess I shouldn't complain too terribly much. It's much scarier when you think about the 750,000 rupiah it cost. Gotta love weak currencies!

So after we got back from Bali with sore butts and stomachaches at 7am, we all slept pretty much all day. Later that night, Robe and I went out to dinner by ourselves for some alone time. We went to this normal little seafood restaurant (even though Robe can't really eat seafood, he was sweet enough to let me enjoy my favorite cuisine). I thought everything seemed very normal. We were chatting and enjoying each other's company, as usual. Then after we ordered our food, he looked at me and said very casually "Will you marry me?" Seeing how casual he was about it, I thought he was just kidding, and so I just looked back and him and didn't say anything. It was then that he reached in his pocket and pulled out...yes, you guessed it, a ring. At that moment I realized he wasn't joking. Completely shocked, I didn't know what to say. And then I started crying. Robe was obviously worried when he saw tears, and he immediately started asking "Are you okay? I'm sorry, did I do something wrong? Oh my gosh I'm sorry! Are you okay?" He was so awkward about it, but it was just adorable. Finally I started crying, but I still couldn't say anything. After a moment of silence, Robe looked at me and said very unsurely, "So...will you marry me?" At that point I couldn't hold back anymore and said, "Yes."

So yea...it seems I'm engaged. Kinda crazy if you ask me, but right now I am absolutely the happiest person in the world. I'm sorry I couldn't call all of you and tell you, and I realize how much it sucks to read about this on a blog, but there's no way I could call everyone!

So there you have it. I'm currently talking to my mom about wedding plans (wow, that sounds so weird). Hopefully if we can get Robe's Visa in time, he can come home with me in June, and then legally we must marry within 90 days of his arrival to the US or else he'll get deported, so get ready for a mid-summer wedding everyone! That is, if we decide we want a wedding. We'll see!

Okay well I gotta get going. I just wanted to share the good news with everyone!! I miss you all and love you like crazy!!!